The 10 Cracks of Christmas
by Tree Flower
Summary: The bear exploded. And randomness happens.
1. Crack 1

**The 10 Cracks of Christmas**

Naruto was a cute little chibi 6 year old. He was skipping to the Academy ignoring all the glares and sucking on his lollipop. Naruto didn't notice that they were glares though, they were weird looks, and those weird looks followed him wherever he went.

"Hi Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said, throwing the half eaten lollipop at him.

It sounded like Sasuke giggled, but who cares?

"NARUTO YOU BAKA!" Iruka yelled, grabbing the lollipop that was stuck in his hair. It didn't come out and he ended up pulling on his hair too. He gave up after a while.

"It'll come off if you do something for me" Naruto said in a sing songy voice.

That was when everyone realized what Naruto was wearing.

"Naruto….why are you dressed up as an elf?" Iruka asked, not noticing the giant box "hiding" behind Naruto. How anyone could not notice a box so big it could fit three chibi-Narutos in it.

"HAMMER ATTACK!!!!" Naruto said before taking out a hammer (which look extremely similar to a hammer in Kodocha) and whacking Iruka on the head.

"…" Iruka stared at Naruto, and so did the rest of the class.

Naruto jumped on Iruka and continued to hit him on the head. When that didn't work, he took out a brick from…somewhere and knocked out Iruka. He then proceeded to stuff him in the box. He then picked up the box and put it in a red wheel barrel before leaving to go to someone's apartment.

**BOREDBORDER**

Kakashi was home at his apartment at around 1:36PM. He yawned, stretched, and walked around idly. Anyone watching this strange display would mistake him for a large, misshaped, mutated cat. He was more of a dog person, but whatever the people say…

There was a knock at his door. He went to open it when it opened itself. He blinked when a tiny little blond kid with a wheel barrel. Kakashi wondered how the kid could push that thing, or how he could even bring it up 5 flights of stairs seeing as his apartment was on the fifth floor.

"Ohayo Scarecrow-san!" The kid greeted, grinning.

"Don't you mean Konnichi wa?" Kakashi corrected.

"Okay then, Konnichi wa!"

"How did you get in my apartment?"

"Your door was unlocked." The kid stated plainly, staring at him.

That kid was so cute Kakashi wanted to hug him to death while saying how cute he was.

'_Whoa,' _Kakashi thought, mentally shaking his head. _'I should stick to decaf…'_

"Who are you?"

"I am Santa's helper! I've come to bring a present to you!" and bring a present he did, for inside the wheel barrel there was a giant box wrapped in green and brown konoha leaf gift wrapping paper with a huge red bow on it. Attached to this bow was a giant card that said 'To the one-eyed scarecrow.'

Kakashi sweat dropped at the card.

Naruto took the present off the wheel barrel and put it in front of Kakashi's feet before leaving as fast as he could with wheel barrel in tow.

Kakashi blinked.

The present shook.

Kakashi stared.

He slowly opened it and was attacked by a crazy brown haired chuunin. His screams could still be heard today, even in Snow Country.

You could also hear a yellow haired boy and a purple haired lady giggling crazily.


	2. Crack 2

**10 Cracks of Christmas**

Kakashi was bored. Everyone knew if Kakashi was bored, bad things happened. So while he was walking around with that bored expression on his face, everyone went and hid, since they all knew that. All except a few people.

Naruto, Jiraiya, and surprising Anko were walking around talking really loud about kami knows what.

"…and then the third guy said 'with forks and knifes'!" Jiraiya said, and they all started laughing. In Jiraiya's mind they were laughing. In reality Naruto and Anko were shaking their heads wondering why they even hung out with the guy.

Kakashi's eye targeted…I mean looked at them with his still bored expression.

"Oi, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto waved at Kakashi.

"Oh hey Naruto, Jiraiya," Kakashi greeted, and then looked at Anko with his eyebrow raised. "Anko. What are you three up too?"

"We're all going to the festival in the nearest town and obaachan said we could go!" Naruto shouted happily before both Jiraiya and Anko covered his mouth and went behind the nearest building.

"Shh Naruto," Jiraiya said, looking at a confused and still bored Kakashi. "We don't want anyone else to know that."

"But why?!" Naruto half asked half exclaimed. "Kakashi can come too right?"

"He might spoil it, knowing that law abiding freak!" Anko said.

"Do you really think he obeys the law?" Naruto asked, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

"Well no," Jiraiya said. "But…"

Naruto interrupted him. "So he can come! It's not like he'll mess it all up!"

"But…" Jiraiya started but Anko shut up him.

"Yea I agree with the gaki with this one!" Anko grinned. "Kakashi is a…._real_ party person."

Naruto wondered with there was a hidden meaning in there while Jiraiya giggled.

They went back to Kakashi.

"So you wanna come Kakashi?" Anko asked. "The more the merrier!"

Kakashi shrugged. "Sure."

So they went to the festival in who cares what village.

They went to the dart board booth.

"Hit three bull's-eyes and win a prize!" The man said.

Naruto got two bulls eyes and almost hit the man.

Anko got mad at the man for trying to flirt with her and pinned him to the back of the booth with all her darts.

Jiraiya would've gotten three bulls eyes if he wasn't distracted by some random group of girls and missed completely.

"Your turn Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted.

Kakashi was bored. He tried enhancing the game by using chakra to speed it up. He got three bulls eyes. The darts went through about 10 booths before hitting the Hokage's tower in Konoha.

"…" They all stared at him.

Naruto, Jiraiya, and Anko tried ditching Kakashi to do their little plan. This involved ditching Jiraiya so Naruto and Anko could do the real plan. That didn't work so they tried plan B.

They tied Jiraiya to a bull and watched it run away into the sunset, which didn't make sense because it was only about 2 in the afternoon.

"Naruto." Someone said with almost no emotion.

They turned around and saw Gaara. Alone.

"Oi, Gaara! Hi! I didn't know you would be here!" Naruto greeted.

"I was going to leave but someone stole my ride."

"What was your ride?"

"A bull."

"Oh."

"…"

"…"

They stared at each other.

Let's not forget guys that Kakashi was bored. So what did he do? Like the cat…err…maybe dog…person he was he tackled Gaara to the ground.

"………" They all stared at Kakashi who stood up like nothing happened.

"Hatake…." Gaara's sand wrapped around Kakashi. They started to fight.

Jiraiya and the bull came over and tackled Naruto to the ground.

Anko sighed. "I told you something bad would happen if we brought Kakashi with us."


	3. Crack 3

A Continuation to the first one. Sort of.

* * *

**10 Crackers of Christmas.**

Naruto was now 9 years old and was sitting on Kakashi's couch. Why? Who knows, I'm not the all knowing narrator.

Kakashi sighed. His mission was boring as hell, and he thought it would be a nice, A-rank beating up mission. His A-rank however turned into a C-rank very quickly; the "missing nins" that was suppose to target the group of men he escorted were actually squirrels and a figment of their imaginations.

Kakashi also learned quickly that squirrels might as well be counted as kage-level ninjas with their damn ability to jump and attack….not to mention throw nuts faster than a ninja could throw shuriken.

"Stupid squirrels…" Kakashi muttered as he unlocked his apartment. He didn't expect that little blond idiot from three years ago sitting on his couch.

"Hello Scarecrow-san!" Naruto greeted, grinning and getting up…to hug Kakashi.

"…Hi?" Kakashi blinked. No one has hugged him since he was a little boy, and that incident with Yondaime, Rin, and Obito did not count. "How did you get in my apartment?"

"Neechan showed me how to sneak into ninja's apartments!" Naruto said, grinning.

Kakashi decided not to ask who neechan was. "Why are you here?"

"Iruka-sensei wanted me to give you something!"

Iruka? That cute little brunette chuunin from the Academy that attacked him for no reason a few years ago? "Really now?"

Naruto walked away from Kakashi, put something on the floor, and then jumped through the window.

"Hm…" Kakashi picked up the present on the floor and opened it.

'_Haha Kakashi!'_ Kakashi read that.

"What does that mean?"

Kakashi's pants…and his entire bookcase of Icha Icha exploded.

In another village Gaara the cute little sand controlling killing machine kid was playing with his teddy bear.

"Don't worry Mr. Bear, me and mother will take care of you," Cute little Gaara said, putting a cute flower crown on his bears head.

"What?" Cute little Gaara said to no one in particular. "Mother says there's something on the back of you."

He turned his cute little bear around just in time to see an exploding note explode.

"Nooooo!"

Back in Konoha Hinata was swinging alone on a swing.

"Hi Hyuuga-chan!"

Hinata looked. It was Naruto. She felt like she would pass out from her cute little crush talking to her, but she got a pep talk inside her mind.

"**Don't worry Hinata! There's your chance to be friends with him and make his life happy!"**

"_Who are you?"_

"_**I'm your inner self! Now go and say hi!"**_

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata stuttered, and Naruto grinned.

"Hey lets go get ramen!"

Hinata blinked and before she could reply he dragged her away…to a dango stand.

"T-this isn't ramen…"

"I know!" Naruto said.

"T-t-then, why are we here?"

"We're meeting someone!"

"Why?"

"Your gonna help us!"

"Help? With what?"

"To stain all the Hyuuga's underwear Christmas colors!" Anko said.

"W-who are you?"

"This is Anko-neechan!" Naruto

"Hello," Hinata said shyly, hiding a little bit behind Naruto.

"I'll tell you the plan later, let's go!"

They were all somehow in the Hyuuga compound. Naruto and Anko got Jyuukened out of the compound. So they tried plan B.

"Oi, Scarecrow-san!" Naruto waved to Kakashi in the middle of the street.

Kakashi twitched and tried walking faster. Anko was in the way. Luckily, Iruka was there to "save" the copy-nin.

"Oh, Kakashi, fancy seeing you here!" Iruka greeted and dragged (almost literally) Kakashi away.

Time for Plan C.

Naruto, Anko, the Hokage, and a Yondaime look alike all ate ramen together.


End file.
